News Headlines

  • A judge in Utah has overturned that state’s ban on gay marriage, causing a rush of marriage license applications at the county clerk’s office, and enraging opponents, who say no government building should be fabulous.
  • Mike Tyson, at 47, says he’s facing the greatest fight of his life, which is ‘being responsible.’ Executives at Pay Per View Fights expect very low viewer sales.
  • A group is suing California over a new transgender bathroom law. The group says no such bathroom can exist because the stencil illustration of the person on the door would be impossible to identify.
  • Britain has spent 44 million dollars revamping Stonehenge. The monument is now surrounded by a more natural, original environment. Upon hearing of the upgrades, American tourists arrived, wondering where the roller coaster and iMax theater are.
  • Here are some rules to follow when giving gifts at the office. Rule #1 is ‘sexy underwear is a bad idea.’ Rule #2 is ‘joke, novelty underwear is also bad.’


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