Licensed Characters

Below are examples of some of the licensed characters I’ve written voice pieces for that appeared on greeting cards, gift products, websites and brand marketing.

The Simpsons, The New Girl, Mike And Molly, Modern Family, 2 Broke Girls, Big Bang Theory, 30 Rock, The Office, Family Guy, Duck Dynasty, Jake And The Neverland Pirates, Phinneas and Ferb, The Sopranos, Star Wars, Lord Of The Rings, many Disney characters, Warner Brothers Characters and many other television shows and films.

While at Hallmark, I wrote some of the first ever original dialogue approved by Lucas Arts for the voice of Darth Vader, rather than repurposing preexisting film quotes.

I wrote original jokes for sound cards voiced by Chris Rock, and for cards and gift product for Starbuck’s Coffee and Harley Davidson Motorcycles.


The below pieces are a few examples from my professional history of product description accompanying ornaments, figures and gifts for various well-known brands.


The creature Gollum, from Lord of the Rings Saga, living for centuries under the Misty Mountains of Middle Earth, was given by the Ring Of Power unnatural long life, but also a twisted and deformed body and mind. Once an innocent, simple-minded dweller of a peaceful world, the ring came to him on its path back to its true master, overtaking Gollum’s own will, and ultimately abandoning him, and setting into motion Gollum’s undying anger and jealousy that tied him forever to The Ring, and to the fates of every creature in the realm of Middle Earth.




Astromech droid R2-A3, marked by red highlighted access panels, is a capable mechanic and loyal companion to the rebel pilot and Rogue Squadron leader Wedge Antilles at the time of the battle of Endor. No pilot is fully equipped, especially in battle, without an astromech droid as his side. Designed for maintenance and repair, and sometimes entrusted with navigation and piloting, R2 units are designed to be an integral piece of any flying ship, and through their service, some have become as vital to their missions as the pilots themselves, not only demonstrating capability but at times even bravery. And, perhaps most importantly, becoming true and selfless companions to the pilots to which they are assigned.



Archaeologist and adventurer Indiana Jones, with his signature fedora, and whip in hand, has discovered the ancient signs pointing the way, evaded blow darts and spear traps, and eluded angry Peruvian tribesman. He has even overcome the betrayal of his supposedly trusted companion, and finally he has the golden fertility idol of Chachapoyan in his hands. And just when he thinks he can catch his breath… the boulder starts to roll.



Harley Davidson, keepsake ornament, Chris Conti, Two Roads Writing
Harley Davidson

Considered by some to be the first great road bike, the 1936 Harley Davidson Knucklehead stands alone as an icon of classic style and engineering. Cutting edge for its time, with push rods set at right angles from a single camshaft and heads that look like knuckles on a fist, it produced enough torque and horsepower to break distance and speed records, and to cement its place in motorcycle history.



     Napoleon Dynamite

Phinneas and Ferb, Chris Conti, Two Roads Writing





Phineas and Ferb



Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Two Roads Writing, Chris Conti, Keepsakes Ornament





Jake and the Neverland Pirates