Humor Sentiments

I know that, as my friend, you’d always be there for me.  Like if I ever needed a hug, or a loan, or a kidney, or a heart.  Not your liver. I’ve seen how you treat that thing.

 

All I need is you.  And coffee.  And my allergy medicine.  And my special pillow.  But mostly just you.

 

I miss you so much I’m totally unmotivated at work, I can’t get organized, and I hate my boss, which is a lot like when you were here.  But now I also miss you.

 

I’m pretty keyed up to help you, and I’ve watched a lot of karate movies, is all I’m saying.

 

You will never have to ask me if I have time to help you, or if I’d like another round, or if I’d like to see the dessert cart.  That’s just the kind of friend I am.

 

Mom, I have a very important question about raising my kids.  Can you please raise my kids? Seriously.  I’ll pay you a lot.

 

Don’t Shoot! I’m not a zombie!  I just haven’t had my coffee yet!

 

Oxygen will begin to flow for those passengers who pay a nominal fee.

 

Things to be proud of #25: I’ve never been swabbed for a DNA sample.

 

I’m a pacifist, so whoever’s bothering you is going to be shocked when I bring the pain.

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *