The school board of Houston, Texas is the latest to ban all mascots thought to be offensive. The gain in popularity of this trend has students at Finger Lakes Middle School concerned they may lose their beloved mascot, “The Middle Finger.”
The body of Nelson Mandela was returned for burial to his boyhood hometown of Qunu. The people of that town say, “Qunu is where Mandela always belonged.” Members of the former Apartheid regime that Mandela toppled in Johannesburg added, “we think so, too.”
The man who faked sign language translation during Nelson Mandela’s memorial service has a criminal past. It has been discovered that he used to translate for American tourists to non-English speakers by just yelling really loud English at everyone.
The Chinese spacecraft has landed on the moon. Mission scientists plan to spend the first day driving the rover around knocking over all the other flags that are already stuck in the ground everywhere.
A group of gun rights advocates in Rhode Island is voting to recall some city council members for changing some gun laws. Most residents of Rhode Island responded by saying, “there are gun laws?”
Khloe Kardashian has filed for divorce. Everything was going fine in her marriage, but she says that divorce is just totally in right now.