News Headlines

  • North Korean military leaders have announced that their soldiers would act as ‘human bullets’ for their leader, Kim Jong Un. The announcement came after that nation realized they do not own any actual bullets.
  • A Croatian soccer player has been banned from play because he has inspired some fans to chant pro-Nazi rhetoric. The World Cup Soccer Committee says they took action because, “sometimes you just gotta take a stand, and ‘Nazis are bad’ seems like kind of a no-brainer.”
  • A high school student in Duluth, Georgia was suspended for harassment because he hugged a teacher. Administrators said it was their only option because it was their first time ever dealing with a student appreciating a teacher.
  • Jerusalem has a small, little known Ethiopian community. It’s little known mostly because they’re just living there peacefully and not trying to destroy or murder anybody.
  • A 2-year budget deal has passed an important Senate vote. But members of Congress still find themselves at an impasse because they have forgotten what to do after making progress. They say they will spend the holiday break reading up on what step two is again.