Tag Archives: joke
A Shoebox Card
A Fresh Ink Card
(inside)
May you, too, get thrown out of boring places on your birthday.
A Fresh Ink Card
News Headlines
- Mike Tyson is still in what he calls the toughest fight of his life – being a responsible adult. His problem primarily stems from the fact that he keeps trying punch responsibility in the face, bite it, and run it over with his car.
- A group of Americans was airlifted out of South Sudan because that’s how Americans leave Africa.
- An American man was sentenced to one year in prison in the United Arab Emirates for making a parody video of that nation’s teen culture. Meanwhile in America, Gallagher is still walking around a free man.
- Dennis Rodman says he’s left North Korea without ever seeing Kim Jong Un. Actually, he did see him, but the guy is just so tiny.
- Over 1200 packets of heroin found in Massachusetts were labeled ‘Obama Care.’ Fox News is calling the story ‘a Christmas miracle,’ adding, “No, not a Holiday miracle. There’s no such thing as a Holiday miracle. It’s a Christmas miracle. And by that, yes, we mean literal intervention by God.”
A Shoebox Card
“I’ve come to really enjoy our quiet afternoons together, Timmy.”
“Me, too, ma’am.”
A Shoebox Card
“Now, this orange is more expensive, but it’s organic.”
“This kid eats orange crayons. I’ll take the cheap ones.”
“I’m sorry to have to tell you this,
but you’re stupid.”
I’m not so sure that getting older
is the source of all our problems.
A Shoebox Card
Let me know if you need me
to back you up by screaming
like a little baby girl in a skirt
and pigtails.
A Shoebox Card
“I may as well just lick this train and stick it right on my thighs.”