Joseph Knudson, a factory employee in Akron, New York, is retiring after 40 years of working on an assembly line. Knudson is being praised for never taking a single sick day in his entire career, and fortunately not being billed for the over 1600 sick days he caused other workers to take because he didn’t stay home when he was contagious.
Smart phone apps such as Siri may soon be able to dispense personal advice, such as “leave him” if a woman complains excessively about her boyfriend over time. This has only been experienced so far by people who used to hear voices in their heads, and all Siri ever says is “murder him.”
It’s been 50 years since the ‘Youth Revolution’ in America. That generation has taken up a new ‘Get Off My Lawn!‘ revolution.
A new trend in architecture is large commercial buildings intended to ‘turn you on.’ These curvy structures evoke feelings of sexuality in the architects who really ought to get out more.
Nigerian man Tony Allen, in a new biography, is said to be the world’s greatest drummer. The biography was written by someone who obviously doesn’t know about the Muppet, Animal.
Officials in Madison, Wisconsin are putting a stop to a ‘professional cuddling’ business, suspecting it’s an obvious front for a prostitution ring. One official said, “we all know it’s what every guy says just before he tries to make a move.”
A breed of flying cockroach, previously only found in Asia, that can withstand winter’s freezing temperatures, is infesting New York City. Conservatives blame Obama’s lax stance on immigration.